I'm reading Andy Rooney's book Not that you asked... and the preface has already made me laugh. He wrote 100 things he's learned and I'd like to share some of the ones I found humorous or ones that I agree with and couldn't have said better.
9. Most poetry is pretentious nonsense.
17. A great many people do not have a right to their own opinion because they don't know what they're talking about.
27. I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
30. I wish people spent less time praying and more time trying to solve the problems religion was created to help us endure.
31. It seems wrong for the United States to try to protect democracy by undemocratic means like overthrowing the government of a foreign country by undercover action.
32. A lot of people assume that we live in an orderly world where every event has a meaning and every problem has a solution. I suspect, however, that some events are meaningless and some problems insoluble.
51. People are too careful with books. If you like a book you ought to mark it up with a pencil. Publishers put too much money in the flimsy paper dust jacket on books. The first thing I do with any book that doesn't have my picture on the jacket is throw the jacket away.
55. It's too bad we seem to need six or seven hours' sleep. Someone's going to invent a way for us to sleep faster.
69. I'm always surprised when light bulb burns out.
75. People who are wrong seem to talk louder than anyone else.
86. There aren't many times in your life when your body has absolutely nothing wrong with it.
92. It's lucky glass makes a loud noise when it breaks.
